Naruto the Green Ninja
by DoodleMonstah
Summary: When Lee and Gai sensei convince Naruto to wear one of their green, skin-tight monstrosities, Sakura has one mission: To stop Naruto from wearing it! Sakura and the other girls make a bet to see who can get Naruto to take off the the suit first.
1. Chapter 1

**Naruto the Orange Green Ninja**

When Lee and Gai sensei convince Naruto to wear one of their green, skin-tight monstrosities, Sakura has one mission: To stop Naruto from wearing it! Sakura and the other girls make a bet to see who can get Naruto to take off the the suit first.

Takes place a few weeks after the Sasuke failed retrieval arc!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

But I did make the cover image and I must say, man did I make it awesome! (As creator of the cover image, I get all bragging rights, and can brag about it all I want. Haha!)

**- Chapter One -**

Uh oh. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. Sakura felt it. Something terrible was about to happen.

A man wearing a ridiculous green spandex suit and a black bowl haircut was talking to a kid with blond hair and an orange jumpsuit. A smaller version of the green clad man stood proudly ranting about youth. Across from them, Sakura stood, trying to calm her nerves.

"Naruto. Nothing impresses me more than guts, kid. Com'ere. Let me give you this. It'll make you stronger." Gai sensei flashed a trademarked Gai sensei smile.

"Really?! What is it?!" Naruto asked with excitement.

"You get your own-"

Trumpets blared as guy sensei held up a trademarked guy sensei training suit! A green, spandex suit!

"Ahhh!" Naruto squealed in excitement, as he looked at the green spandex suit with delight on his face.

Gai struck a pose. "It's real polyester, contains moisture, and offers full frame of movement, all in one sweet package. If you wear it while training, you'll notice a difference immediately. They really grow on yah. Pretty soon, you'll be wearing them all the time. Just like Lee."

"Pretty soon, you'll be wearing them all the time." These words echoed in Sakura's mind over and over again. Crushing horror came from all sides, squeezing her nearly to death. No. No no no no. This could not be happening.

"AWW MANN!" Naruto yelled. His eyes burned with fire. This suit would make him stronger, just like how it made Lee and Gai stronger! Pure delight was etched on Naruto's face.

This was Sakura's second-worst nightmare.

"Eh?" said Gai, pointing at Naruto.

"Eh?!" responded Naruto pointing at Might Guy.

"Eh?!"

"Eh?!"

"Eh?!"

"Eh?!"

Scratch that. This was Sakura's WORST nightmare.

Naruto and Gai kept pointing to each other, saying, "Eh?!", while the green spandex monstrosity waved in the wind.

Yep. Worst. Nightmare.

**xxXxx**

A pink-haired kunoichi wearing a red dress walked on the dirt road with a blond, who had his eyes closed, a huge grin, and fingers locked at the back of his head.

"You aren't really going to wear that, are you?" Asked Sakura. She desperately hoped for a "no of course not, just kidding, one of my pranks, hahaha, huge plastic grin". Unfortunately, this was not the case.

"Of course I am!" Naruto exploded with a grin. "Guy sensei said it contains moisture, offers full frame of movement, and is 100% polyester! He even gave me ankle weights that'll make stronger and faster!"

Sakura balked. Gai gave Naruto ankle weights, too? If this kept up, soon there would be another Gai clone in the village. This was worse than she thought it was! Images of Gai, Lee, and Naruto screaming about the power of youth flashed in her head. No. She had to stop this. She would stop this from happening at all costs.

**xxXxx**

Ino looked at her friend Sakura. Although they were officially not friends anymore and rivals now, they always had each other's back. If one needed help, the other gave it. And now, Sakura looked like she could really use her help right now.

Sakura had gathered Ino, Hinata, and TenTen together for what she called, "An emergency." She had an unrecognizable look on her face that spoke of many horrors.

Ino spoke first. "So what is it?" She asked with concern.

"You know Gai, and Lee, right?" Sakura asked.

"Lee isn't following you around again, is he?" TenTen asked, cracking her knuckles. She remembered the last time that happened. She had given him quite a beating, which may or may not have included many of her nice, pointy weapons she was known for. She smirked as she remembered Lee crying 'tears of youth' when she was finished with him. Later, he resigned and took to doing two hundred push ups while ranting about the power of youth.

Sakura shook her head. "It's worse than that."

Ino, TenTen, and Hinata all looked at Sakura, as the urgency of the situation became clear. What could possibly be worse than... THAT?!

"W-worse?" Hinata asked.

"Yes. Gai gave Naruto one of those monstrous green spandex training suits."

"Na-Naruto?" Hinata blushed at name of her crush. Images of Naruto wearing the ridiculous spandex rushed through her mind. Hinata couldn't bear the thought of her life-time crush wearing the horrendous suit.

Silence surrounded the four girls as they they contemplated the situation.

"We need to get that suit off him." TenTen said pointedly. As one of Lee's teammates, and student of Might Gai, she knew that the last thing everyone needed was another green spandex ninja.

The other three kunoichi nodded solemnly, before Ino smirked. "To make this interesting, why don't we turn it into a bet? Whoever gets the suit off Naruto first wins. The losers of the bet..." She trailed off and smiled evilly.

**xxXxx**

And that's a wrap for Chapter 1!

Poor unsuspecting Naruto... Hasn't he already had enough abuse in his life? Damn you, cursed green suit!

He he. I just had three cups of chocolate milk so I am really hyper. Just be glad that I didn't drink coffee. Or a monster. (I hate both which for me is a good thing...)

Well anyways, follow and leave a review!

Seriously. Leave a review. It's not hard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: don't own Naruto! (But I do own the cover image I made and all bragging rights are still mine)**

**- Chapter 2**

Sakura rehearsed the plan in her mind again before walking up to Naruto. If the plan worked, this would be over pretty quick. The plan was simple. She would tell him that if he took off the the terrible green training suit, she would go on a date with him.

After all, he constantly asked her for dates, although he seemed to be doing so less and less lately because she had hit him every time he asked.

"Hello, Naruto!" she exclaimed as she saw Naruto devouring ramen at the Ichiraku ramen stand. She nearly flinched when she saw the green spandex that he wore, but she managed to stick a smile on her face.

A strained smile, but still a smile.

Naruto looked up from his ramen to look at his pink-haired teammate. But something about her seemed off. He squinted his eyes at her as he studied her. She had this weird look on her face and some creepy smile. Suddenly it dawned on him.

She hadn't caught him doing sexy no jutsu, had she? She must be furious at him! That must be it! She was probably trying to draw him in with a smile, and then when he got close- BOOM! Instant concussion! Naruto started sweating as he thought about his impending doom.

"Sakura, I'm sorry I did the sexy no jutsu! Me and Konohamaru were having a contest and we-" he rambled as he backed away nervously, ready to run at the first hint of her fists.

Sakura was infuriated when she heard he was doing the sexy no jutsu again! But she had a mission. Her face twitched as she struggled to keep the strain out of her voice as she said, "I'm not mad, Naruto."

Naruto kept backing away. Sakura's smile was really freaking him out. There was no way she would smile at him after he just told her he used sexy no jutsu. Usually, her fist would have reached his skull by now. No. No way.

"There's no way that's Sakura," he thought.

"Who are you and what have you done with the real Sakura?" Naruto demanded. "I saw right through your genjutsu! The real Sakura would never be that nice to me! And she's not that ugly!"

For two seconds, deadly silence. Then, "NARUTOOO!"

"Make him pay!" Inner Sakura screamed.

BOOM!

Sakura raised her fist in rage and and punched him in the head. When the dust cleared, he lay in a crater, backing away from the terrifying pink haired kunoichi. Her eyes were burning fires of rage as she cracked her knuckles and stomped towards him.

"Eh heh heh..." Naruto laughed nervously as he rubbed the back of his head. A huge sweat drop formed in the back of his head as he backed away from the scary, scary, kunoichi.

"Umm... I'm going to go do some training so bye Sakura see you later ha ha!" Naruto yelped as he started roof jumping to escape the pinkette.

"NOT SO FAST, NARUTOOO!"

Now, let me tell you something. After a prank Naruto pulled of involving alot of paint and the hokage monument, he was not only chased by a horde of chunnin and jounin, but by the ANBU. Elite ninja. Best of the best.

But running from an angry Sakura was ten times scarier.

"AAAHHHH!" Naruto screamed as he roof jumped in a desperate attempt to save himself.

xxXxx

Ino, TenTen and Hinata sweat dropped as they watched Sakura chase Naruto around Konoha.

TenTen was polishing her weapons, Hinata was blushing as she glanced her crush running in fear, and Ino was smirking to herself.

"Sakura must be planning on taking it by force," Ino thought.

Not like that would work. Naruto could be a bit... dense, sometimes, but he was still a ninja, and just chasing him wouldn't work.

But Ino had a plan. She would win the bet and rid Konoha of the dreaded green spandex hugging Naruto's body.

And if her plan failed, she could always just use her mind transfer jutsu and make him take it off.

Ino smiled to herself and thought to herself, "forehead girl, you won't win today."

xxXxx

_A/N DUN DUN DUN... what exactly is Ino's plan?_

_So anyways, thanks for the review __**Sula 74**__! I'm glad you like my cover art I drew!_

_And in case anyone is really bored and looking for a funny story, you can check out my other funny one I got called __**Ramen Recipe for Disaster**__. It's where Naruto hears about a rare plant called nemar which can be used to make 'legendary ramen'. He immediately goes to find some and bring them to the Ichiraku ramen stand. But Naruto, being the clumsy guy he is, accidentally brings back some roots from the dreaded yppah plant, which are known to cause dizziness and hallucinations in large doses. Right after eating legendary ramen, Naruto has to go on a mission with Shikamaru, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, and Sakura. It's only got two chapters but it's doing good so far!_

_If you like the story, follow, fav, or review! (or else...)_

_(Haha, just kidding, don't mind my thinly veiled threat! :)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**-Chapter Three - Why Kami, WHHYY?**

Naruto peeked his head out of an ally, checking for any signs of a furious pink haired kunoichi. He nearly jumped when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"So, Naruto, what are you doing?" Ino asked. She tried not to look at the green suit so focused her eyes intently on his face instead.

"Hey, Ino! You haven't seen Sakura anywhere, have you? She's trying to kill me!" His voice was a bit nervous. "She could be anywhere, ready to smash my brains out!"

'If you had any brains,' she added silently.

Out loud, she said,"you know where she would never look? The bath house! I'm already heading there so we could go together."

"Sakura would never go into the boy section of the bath house! Good idea, Ino!"

The two blonds headed to the bath house carefully to avoid the fuming pinkette along the way.

**xxXxx**

Ino smiled. Phase one complete. There was only one problem.

"So, aren't you going to take your clothes off?" Ino asked, standing hands on hips, in front of the blond.

"Uh... Don't you have to go to the girls change room first?" Naruto asked. Subconsciously, he was backing away from Ino. Something was off about Ino. She had a creepy smile similar to Sakura, but her eyes, her eyes were scary. They looked at him as if he were her prey. And they were scouring his body intently. The entire situation left Naruto freaked out. Luckily for him, he usually covered up uncomfortable situations by acting as if he were too dense to even realize his situation.

Ino stalked closer to her prey- I mean Naruto, and talked in a voice that she hoped sounded seductive. "Come on Naruto, for me?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head nervously as a huge sweat drop formed at the back of his head. Ino was now freaking him out beyond comprehension. And what was with that creepy tone of voice she was using? She wasn't trying to sound -gag- seductive, was she? Naruto racked his brain for something to get him out of this mess.

'What would dense Naruto say? What would dense Naruto say?' He kept repeating in his mind. But this time, even playing dumb had no answers. So he just kept backing away from Ino, while eying every single possible exit available in the room and trying to formulate some sort of plan to escape.

'What would dense Naruto say?' He repeated. 'Hmm. Dense Naruto would probably start blabbering about Ramen,' he thought.

So he began to do just that. "Hey, Ino, you know what I always thought? Since the bath house water is always so hot, you could get a whole bunch if ramen cups and pour them into the bath water and then it would cook, and then you'd be having a bath in a giant tub of ramen! The part that would suck is that the three minute wait would be even longer since the water isn't quite boiling so it would take longer to cook-" Naruto kept rambling on about ramen as if the girl in front of him hadn't just asked him to take his clothes off.

A vein popped out of Ino's head. Had Naruto just denied Ino- over RAMEN?! Ino- the beautiful girl in purple- was just dropped by Naruto? Naruto of all people? OVER RAMEN?!

Her eye twitched. She was going to smash him so bad! But just in time she remembered her mission. 'No way I'm losing to bill board brow,' she thought.

Meanwhile, Naruto had been rambling on about ramen the entire time. "...so I was thinking miso-flavoured, or even both mixed together, ya know? Or maybe-"

"So, Naruto." She interrupted, with barely contained rage straining her voice. "Can you stand still for a second?"

She had tried to say this sweetly, but instead it had come out almost as a threat. Naruto gulped. 'Ino's scarier than Sakura,' he thought. Immediately he noticed Ino make a familiar set of seals. 'Mind control jutsu!' he realised.

Just before she finished the jutsu, he jumped out of the way. Ino fell to the ground unconscious, as she had missed the jutsu. Naruto stood in the middle of the change room, not knowing what to do with her unconscious body. He couldn't exactly leave her unconscious in the MEN'S change room. With a shrug, he picked up her body and started dragging her out through the door. It was just his luck when he stepped through the door and-

"What did you do to her, you dirty pervert!"

"Pervert!"

"AAAHHH!"

"Pervert Alert!"

"PERVERT!"

It turns out that there were four or five girls standing outside of the change room, who had all gotten the wrong idea.

"LET'S GET HIM!" One of them shrieked.

"DIE PERVERT!"

"Get the freak in the green suit!" One of them yelled.

Naruto, still carrying Ino, started running away from the hoard of angry girls, which kept getting more and more massive as more girls joined in to "kill the pervert!"

As Naruto started running the streets of Konoha (quickly dropping Ino off at the flower shop) he screamed like a girl.

"WHY?! WHY? KAMI, WHYYY!" He screamed at the sky. Behind him, the ever-growing hoard of girls were screaming "KILL THE PERVERT!"

As the hoard of girls kept getting more and more devious, Naruto found himself using all of his ninja training to keep himself from getting smashed.

It just got worse though, when Sakura joined the hoard. Yep. And she was still angry.

"NARUTOOO!" she shouted.

"KILL THE PERVERT!" The girls shouted.

**xxXxx**

In the distance, TenTen and Hinata watched Naruto be chased by a humongous hoard of girls as he screamed, "WHY, KAMI, WHYYY?!"

TenTen watched with amusement, with an evil smirk as she readied herself to join the other girls in 'the hunt' as she thought of it. Her hands were itching to use her newly polished arsenal of weapons that she carried in her scrolls at all times.

Hinata watched in horror and worry. "Naruto-kun," she said softly. She honestly hoped that her crush would be okay.

**xxXxx**

**_A/N_**_ Noo! Poor unsuspecting Naruto! Why, kami, WHYYY?! How could things possibly get worse for Naruto?_

Here's a hint. TenTen and her craze for all things pointy.

Here's another hint. Anko, the crazy snake lady.

If you like this story so far, follow!

I also love favs and reviews!

And thank you J for that review!


	4. Chapter 4

**TA DA! I bring you mot one, but TWO new chapters of Naruto The Green Ninja! (Double update!)**

**I do not own Naruto.**

**-Chapter 4**

Naruto hid in a dark ally. He hadn't slept and it was now sunrise. His eyes were bloodshot, and he subconsciously kept looking behind his back every few seconds in a paranoid frenzy.

Yesterday, TenTen had joined the group, throwing her entire arsenal of weapons at him (which consisted of 1532 weapons). Finally, two hours ago, he finally lost the hoard of girls chasing him. They were now roaming the streets, asking people if they had seen a boy with spiky yellow hair and whisker marks on his cheeks. Everyone knew who he was. He carried the kyubi after all.

Naruto was exhausted. He had cuts from TenTen, bruises from the other girls, and a bump on his head from Sakura. 'Good thing I'm a fast healer,' he thought.

He wondered if Sasuke had to go through this with his fan girls. And he now completely understood why Shikamaru constantly said that woman were "troublesome" and avoided them often. In fact, over the past few hours, Naruto had developed a new found respect for women, which was laced with fear and horror. Mostly he just viewed them with fear and horror, though.

For the next few months after this... 'Incident', Naruto would clam up and hyperventilate every time he saw someone of the female gender. But that's a story for another day.

As Naruto hid in the dark ally, his blood shot eyes constantly flicked about, his body arched to run at the slightest hint of the scary hoard of girls.

Suddenly he jumped as he heard a growl. He looked around searching for the source. His heart was beating a thousand times per minute when he heard another growl.

Looking down, he saw that his stomach was growling.

He realized that he was very, very hungry.

He had dropped all of his instant ramen while being chased by the hoard of girls. He was nearly out of kunai, which had used to block many of TenTen's weapons. He had used most of his shuriken attempting to pin some of his chasers to walls, but there were such a huge amount of them that it didn't even matter. The only thing he had tons of (as usual) was chakra.

"If only I could rasengon them all," he found himself grumbling.

Suddenly Naruto got an idea. He henge'd into a girl version of himself before stepping out of the dark alley. 'They'll be so busy looking for me that they won't even notice I'm right under their noses!' he thought while grinning. He locked his hands behind his head and closed his eyes happily as he headed towards the Ichiraku Ramen stand. Finally, he would get something in his stomach!

So imagine his surprise when TenTen immediately spotted him and screamed, "There you are, Naruto!" She snickered at Naruto's poor attempt. Not only did the girl he henge into have blond hair and blue eyes, but she had whisker marks on her cheeks which were a dead give away. Add the way she was walking with her hands behind her head and her eyes closed... It screamed "my name is Naruto!"

Naruto looked at TenTen in shock. Behind TenTen, the herd of girls were quickly approaching from the distance, having heard TenTen's scream.

TenTen's smirk only widened having seen the look of dread on Naruto's face. "Tell you what, Naruto. If you take that green suit off for me, I'll call of the hoard."

Naruto gulped as he started sweating. He needed to escape. TenTen was crazy. But before he could do anything, a dango stick whizzed past him, scratching his cheek and causing him to poof back into Naruto. The skewer stuck into the wall behind him.

"Agh! Crazy snake lady!" Naruto shouted as he pointed a finger at her.

Anko (known as crazy snake lady by Naruto) just smirked. In a second, she was next to Naruto, who now has a cut on his cheek. Anko licked the blood off the skewer.

"Tell you what, if you take off that green suit for me, I'll get that TenTen brat AND that horde of girls away from you."

TenTen glared at Anko, who seemed to have heard about the bet.

Naruto blanched as he thought, "WHY, KAMI, WHYYY?!"

There was just one way to escape. Quickly, Naruto made the hand seals for his shadow clone jutsu. In an instant, hundreds of Naruto's stood everywhere. All of the Naruto's started running in different directions.

TenTen and Anko both glared at each other for letting Naruto get away.

**xxXxx  
**  
Naruto was near panic attack as he shuddered, hidden in a men's washroom. He was sweating and trying not to freak out as waves and waves of terrible memories came as his clones were dispelled in violent ways. TenTen shot weapons, Sakura smashed them with her fist, and Anko tried to torture each one as much as possible before dispelling it. The other girls mobbed his clones as they beat them to bloody pulps before they dispelled.

One girl even went as far as to... Naruto shuddered again as he nearly vomited. He didn't want to think of what that one did to his clone.

Naruto rocked himself as he thought, 'Forget what she did. Forget what she did. Forget what she did.'

**xxXxx  
**  
When Shikamaru and Choji went into the bathroom, he was shocked to see Naruto hugging his knees and rocking himself as he mumbled to himself incoherently. His eyes were bloodshot, and his clothes were splattered with blood. Naruto had cuts and dark bruises everywhere.

"Naruto, what happened?"

No response.

"Naruto?"

Shikamaru stood directly in front of Naruto before crouching and waving a hand in front of Naruto's face.

Suddenly Naruto seemed to see Shikamaru. "AAAAHHH! GET AWAY!" he screamed, before jumping backwards and blindly throwing the rest of his kunai at Shikamaru (To be exact, three). Shikamaru quickly jumped to the side, letting the kunai embed themselves into the bathroom wall behind him.

"Naruto, what happened?" Choji asked.

Naruto's eyes were wide as he recounted what happened in the past 36 hours. "And then I ran and hid here, whee they can't get me, but soon there going to get all my clones. And anko's torturing them, and TenTen's stabbing them, and one girl, one girl- she-!"

Naruto's face turned blue as he tried not to vomit. Which wasn't hard, since he hadnt eaten anything in eighteen hours.

"Troublesome women..." Shikamaru deadpanned as he anylized the information Naruto had given him. "Naruto, if you just took of that green suit, they probably would leave you alone."

Naruto eyes bulged. Ino, TenTen, and Anko had all asked him to take his clothes off. But, Shikamaru? "Not you too!" he screamed before running out of the bathroom at the speed of light.

"Troublesome..." Shikamaru deadpanned.

**xxXxx  
**  
**A/N** _Aaahhh! Poor Naruto! What in the world did that girl do to him?_

I'll leave that to your imaginations. (heh, heh.)

If you liked it, review! If you hated it, review! If you have a suggestion, review! (Do you get my point? Just review already.)

Fav and follow!


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't not own Naruto**

**- Chapter Five**

_Might Gai struck a pose. His black bowl hair cut blew in the wind, and his smile was so bright people had to shield their eyes. He was wearing a hideous green spandex._

_Next to him stood a boy with a blond bowl haircut. (A blond bowl haircut looks even worse than a black bowl haircut). The boy had whisker marks and a grin that was equally blinding. He was in a similar stupid pose._

_"I am Might Gai!" The man shouted._

_"And I am midget guy!" Naruto shouted._

_They started to rant about the power of youth as a sunset appeared behind them._

"**AAAAGGGGHHH!**" Ino screamed as she shot up out of bed. "**That was the worst nightmare ever!**" She sat panting in bed. How long had she been out? She must have missed the mind transfer jutsu.

Looking outside, she saw it was morning, nearing noon. Angry women were stomping around every where. TenTen scouring the land with her knifes, Sakura causing creators everywhere she stomped, and the other girls ranting about "killing the pervert!" Anko had a sadistic grin as she thought about more ways to torture Naruto so that he would hand over the suit.

Ino wondered what Hinata was doing. Hinata was probably worrying over Naruto. Ino had to admit that she felt bad for Naruto, but she HAD to win that bet! Ino's frown quickly turned into a devious grin.

**xxXxx**

Naruto badly wished he had drank some water when he was in the washroom. His throat was parched after not eating or drinking in the past 20 hours. He was both mentally and physically exhausted, as he hadn't even been able to sleep, and had been dodging fists, kunai, and other various objects at every turn. By now, all of his clones had been painfully eliminated. He was ready to drop dead.

'Heh, the classics always work,' Naruto thought as he held up a sheet that looked like a wall up in front of him. The herd of crazy girls ran strait past him without seeing him.

'Now, I just have to get to the hokage tower before I'm seen,' he thought. He hoped that Tsunade would be able to help him. She was hokage after all.

Looking both ways and using the ninja skills he had acquired while running away from the aftermath of his pranks, Naruto sneaked to the hokage tower, sticking to the shadows as often as possible and running up walls using his chakra.

People thought he was loud, but he could be quiet when he needed to. And right now, he was silent as a ninja (Oh, wait a second... He is a ninja).

He was close to the hokage tower. Quickly, he ran up the wall and jumped through the window that lead to the hokage office. He fell through the window landing on his face.

When looked up, Taunade was smirking. "I knew you'd be here sooner or later," she said.

She smirked. For once in her life, Tsunade- the legendary sucker- was going to win a bet! Finally! With all that money, she could pay her debts! Well, ok, no way she would do that. But, man! Imagine the sake she could buy!

Naruto didn't know what to do. Tsunade was smirking at him deviously, which was creeping him out. But she was also the only person who could help him. He was bloody, wounded, hungry, thirsty, and tired. He didn't know how much longer he could take it.

"Naruto, as hokage, I order you to take off that green spandex!" Tsunade yelled.

Naruto blanched. He had just spent two hours trying to sneak to the hokage office, and now, ... THIS?!

"**AAAAHHHHH!**" Naruto yelled, jumping out the window.

Tsunade signalled two of her ANBU guards down to give them a mission. "Get that green spandex off Naruto! Be warned, he's more devious than he looks! Get it all costs and bring it to me, stat! GOO!" Tsunade yelled.

The two ANBU sweat dropped before shouting, "Yes, Tsunade!" and jumping out through the window in the direction Naruto had taken.

**xxXxx**

By now, all of the girls that were originally after Naruto to "kill the pervert" had now all heard about the bet. This only strengthened their resolve to hunt Naruto down. Imagine what they could do with the money! With so many people participating, the grand prize must be huge by now! Besides, now that they entered the bet, there was no way they would lose. Because the bet rules stated that if you lost, you had to...

Some of the girls involunteerly shuddered at the bet's losing conditions, while some of the other girls who were more confident that they would win the bet smirked.

Some of them had devious grins as they were already thinking about what they would do with the prize money.

Some of the girls blushed, wondering what Naruto would look like under the green training suit.

And far away, a girl with blue hair nervously tapped her two fingers together, as she wondered if there was any way she could help Naruto. "Naruto-kun," Hinata said nervously. She wondered how in the world Naruto had managed to get four angry kunoichi, 47 angry civilian girls, the hokage, and two ANBU ninja chasing after him, without even trying.

As Hinata watch an exhausted Naruto avoid the two ANBU by henge-ing into a civilian and mixing into the crowd, she suddenly had an idea on how she could help Naruto. It wouldn't be much, but it would be better than nothing.

**xxXxx**

**A/N** _Finally, Hinata! Took you long enough! What is her plan? Whats Ino up to? And what is the mysterious losing condition of the bet? Haha... Just you see..._

_I hope you all like this story! I try to make people laugh so hopefully you guys were laughing as you read this._

_(If you were, let me know, so that way I know if I'm doing a good job or not!)_

_(Hehe, you see what I did at the start there? With might gai and midget guy? Eh? Eh? Hehe.. Ok, I'll be quiet now.)_

_REVIEWWWWW!_  
_Review, review, review!_

_(Seriously, review)_

_Fav and Follow!_

_^-^ !_


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't not not own Naruto.**

**- Chapter 6**

Naruto dragged himself through the streets of Konoha. He was exhausted- physically AND mentally. Not only had this ordeal been terrifying by itself, but it dug up dark memories of Naruto's past that he would rather not think of. Memories of objects being thrown at him as an innocent child, insults shouted, his own teacher attempting to kill him...

Let's face it. Naruto felt like crap.

His small frame was shaking in hunger, as he hadn't eaten in 20 hours. His throat was parched. This combined with no sleep and the huge amount of physical exercise exerted meant he was completely exhausted. He was at his breaking point.

He even LOOKED like crap. Even with his quick healing rate, his wounds and bruises looked terrible, he had bags under his bloodshot eyes, and his green suit (which was terrible-looking to begin with) was splattered in Naruto's blood. His henge, however, hid these details, revealing only an average looking brown haired civilian boy walking the streets.

Naruto was headed in the direction that the he knew the market place was, in hopes of buying food and water. He navigated slowly, carefully making sure to stay mixed in with clumps of people to mask his presence from his deranged attackers. But at the speed he was going, it was going to be a while.

"Naruto..."

Naruto looked around, having heard his name. Had someone seen through his henge? Nervously sweeping his eyes around the area, he searched for possible threats. Seeing none, he continued forward.

"N-Naruto..."

Naruto looked around, once again seeing nothing.

"Great, now I'm hearing voices..." Naruto grumbled. Seeing as how any normal person would have cracked by now, this was a reasonable assumption.

"N-Naruto, over here!" Naruto looked in the direction of the voice, and saw Hinata standing in a dark alley, blushing but with a serious look on her face. "I-I wanted to help you, b-because you looked hungry, s-so I made you l-lunch." Hinata stuttered.

"Eh?" At this point, Naruto was extremely suspicious of any of the female gender. And that included Hinata. But then again, she just mentioned food. And Naruto would do anything for food right now. He would have taken the offer even if it were from the kyubi itself.

"You made me lunch?" Naruto asked. His voice cracked in the middle of the question, as a result of his parched throat.

Hinata nodded and blushed. "H-here's some water, too, N-Naruto."

"It's not poisoned, is it?" Naruto asked suspiciously.

"N-No, of course not!"Hinata was blushing red like a tomato.

Naruto looked at the water for two seconds, before immediately gulping it down. Strangely, he trusted Hinata. She didn't have a creepy smile, devious smirk or a sick, sadistic look on her face. Although for some reason he didn't understand, she had a really red face.

Hinata handed Naruto a package, which inside had food to look like his face.

"Hey! That looks like my face!" Naruto exclaimed.

'Never thought I would eat my face,' Naruto thought, before taking a bite.

Hinata hoped her plan would work. As soon as he finished the food she made, she would tell him about the bet. Maybe if he knew about it, he would finally take the suit off. And then her Naruto-kun would be safe from those vultures!

She wondered what Naruto would look like without his green spandex sui-

'Eep!' Thought Hinata. She quickly steered her mind away from any perverted thoughts.

But her mind quickly strayed back to the time when she had accidentally used her bakugan while Naruto was around. Her byakugan had seen right through his orange jumpsuit. His muscles were so well toned, and his-

'Bad Hinata! Don't think of Naruto like that!' She thought. She was blushing so hard, her face was glowing red.

Naruto, who had devoured the food, rubbed his stomach contently. It felt so good to have a meal in his stomach! Looking up, he saw Hinata poking her fingers together distractedly. Her face was bright red like he had never seen before.

"Hinata? Are you ok? Your face is really red... Do you have a fever?" Naruto asked. He placed his hand on her forehead, checking for signs of a fever.

"Your face is really hot, ya know..." He said. "Maybe you should get a doctor."

Meanwhile, in Hinata's head:

"Eep! He's touching your forehead! Don't faint! Don't faint! You have to tell him about the bet! Don't faint! He's so cute- stop thinking about that! Don't faint, don't fain-"

Hinata fainted before she was able to tell Naruto about the bet.

**xxXxx**

Ino's plan had worked! Hinata was a sensory type Ninja, so she had been able to track down Naruto. And being so kind-hearted, it was only natural that she had tried to help him. So, Hinata had led Ino right to Naruto, without even knowing it! Ino would otherwise had passed right past Naruto's henge.

She couldn't help but watch as Hinata and Naruto talked, because Hinata was blushing furiously while Naruto was acting completely oblivious to the obvious crush Hinata had on him.

When Hinata fainted, she saw this as the perfect time to strike. She quickly made the seals for her mind transfer jutsu.

Ready.. Aim.. Fire!

But just as she did the jutsu, Naruto bent down to inspect Hinata. "Hey Hinata, are you alright?" He asked.

This caused Ino to miss her jutsu, and she fell unconscious. She tumbled off the roof, landing on Naruto. "Aagh!" he yelled. Naruto's henge dispersed from the impact, and instead of a brown haired civilian, he looked like Naruto again.

Naruto, still exhausted but now not thirsty or hungry, looked in confusion at the two unconscious girls at his feet.

"Hinata? Ino?"

But it only got worse, when the one of the deranged civilian attackers spotted him.

"Kyaaah!" she screamed. "It's the pervert!"

More girls rushed to her side.

"AAAHHH! What did you do to those girls?!"

"HEY! It's the same pervert in the green suit!"

"IT'S THE GREEN SUIT NIJA!"

"HIS SUIT IS MINE!"

At the screaming, the two ANBU quickly arrived. TenTen, Sakura, and Anko quickly rushed to the scene, and more and more girls came rushing to join the crowd.

"Take off that suit for me!" One screamed.

"No! For me!"

"I called it!"

Naruto shook violently as he backed away from the girls, only to hit a dead-end in the alley way, the mob of girls shouting either threats, or seductive pleas at Naruto, many cracking their knuckles, while some had kunai and various objects that looked... Pointy.

They kept getting closer and closer. Anko was already next to Naruto, holding a kunai dangerously as she whispered in his ear, "You know, a lot of guys would kill to be in your position."

Naruto sweated heavily, eyes wide, and body frozen in fear.

'Never thought I'd die like this,' he thought as his life flashed before his eyes.

**xxXxx**

**A/N** _Cliffhanger no jutsu!_

_A D-rank Jutsu that targets the brain, causing frustration and anxiety in readers!_

_**WAHAHAA!**_

_This story is nearly over, only one Chapter left! (You'll love the ending, I promise.)_

_Don't worry. Naruto doesn't die. (Or does he?...)_

_Anyways, after I finish this story, I'm planning on starting a new story, which will be one of the below. Which one do you guys think I should do? Read the descriptions and then vote for the one that sounds like it will be most fun! To vote, just head to my profile! (Which is newly updated, by the way) or just leave a review. Whichever story gets the most votes will be the next story I'll write! (Believe it!)_

**_Here are my funny story ideas, if you really like one, head over to the poll and vote for it quick!_**

**- Konoha's #1 Hyperactive Ninja** - What happens when the number one hyperactive ninja finds out about coffee? Will the desperate attempts of his friends and hokage to keep him away from coffee work, or will he wreck havoc on Konoha?

- **Naruto: Banned from** **Ramen** - When the hokage bans Naruto from ramen due to an inaccurate health assessment, will he be able to handle the mental strain? Will he be able to get over his ramen addiction? The answer: No. No he can't. HE MUST HAVE RAMEN! And he'll go far to get it.

- **Naruto: Surviving the FanGIRL apocalypse** - Sasuke's birthday is coming up, known to him as the fanGIRL apocalypse, so he convinces Naruto to henge as Sasuke for the day. Unwittingly, Naruto takes the deal, in exchange for a ramen buffet. What a terrible decision.

- **Sakura Vs. Ramen** - It takes multiple life or death situations, Sakura being denied repeatedly by Sasuke, and an entire WAR before Naruto and Sakura finally become a couple. But now, Sakura findsherself competing for Naruto's attention... With RAMEN! It's a full out war between Sakura and Ramen, and Naruto is just confused as he is caught in the crossfire.

_Yah those are my funny story ideas for my next story, so just click on my profile/bio to vote! I'm personally leaning towards __**Konoha's #1 Hyperactive Ninja**, but I'll write whichever story that gets the most votes. All of them would be fun to write._

_Don't forget to fav/follow/! AND VOTE!_

_^-^ !_


	7. Chapter 7

I own Naruto!

I actually don't, use common sense, people! :P

**- Chapter 7 -**

'Never thought I'd die like this,' Naruto thought as his life flashed before his eyes. Crushing horror loomed in from all sides as he accepted his cruel fate. Now that he thought of it, Kami must really hate him. He was always alone from day one. He didn't get to complete his bucket list either. Darn it, he had never even gotten a date with Sakura. Or gotten a first kiss... Well, he accidentally kissed Sasuke once, but he didn't want to think about that. Besides, he was too busy watching his sad life flash before his eyes, as a look of dread became clear on his face.

But suddenly, he heard a stern authoritative voice call out, "Everyone, that's far enough! Take a step away from Naruto!"

Naruto looked up, wondering who his savior was. Everyone turned around to see who had yelled. Everyone was surprised to Tsunade, the hokage.

"Tsunade!" Sakura exclaimed nervously. "This isn't what it looks like! There's a bet to see who can get Naruto to take that terrible green spandex off, and we-"

"I already know about the bet," Tsunade stated.

"Well, actually, she entered the bet," TenTen whispered to Sakura.

"Jiraya won't be laughing anymore when he sees I finally won a bet!" Tsunade shouted. She started laughing deviously, planning what she would do with the prize money. Sake! SAKE! _AND MORE SAKE!_

Naruto shakily looked around him at the faces staring at him. Naruto balked. Everything that had happened to him- no sleep, no food, cuts, bruises, torture, anxiety, and severe exhaustion- it was all for a BET?

"What does the winner of the bet get?" Naruto asked incredulously. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

TenTen studied a scroll which had all of the names down of girls who had entered the bet. "With so many participants, enough money to be set for life, I guess."

And with that, Naruto started to laugh."Hehe. Ha. Ha."

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Naruto laughed. And laughed. And laughed. The crowd of girls sweat dropped at Naruto, who apparently was pushed to insanity.

It was quite a sight to see really. A person passing by would see this: In a dark alley, a blond spiky haired boy with bloodshot eyes, laughing maniacally, wearing ridiculous spandex, covered head to toe in scratches, bruises, and cuts, surrounded by a huge horde of females that somehow were both angry looking and sweat dropping, armed with kunai, pitchforks, and torches.

"Hahaha! HAHA! Hehehehe! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

And just like that, in front of the entire crowd of females, Naruto started to take off the green spandex.

"I'm a rich man! I'M A RICH MAN! I, NARUTO, AM _ENTERING THE BET!_"

Naruto finished taking off the spandex. The green spandex fell to the floor, and the crowd of kunoichi, civilian girls, ANBU, and the hokage, just stared, speechless.

Hinata, who had been awaken from the commotion, immediately fainted again at the sight of the spandex-less Naruto.

Near the back, a girl fainted as blood shot out of her nose.

They could not believe their eyes.

Because, under the green spandex...

...

...

Naruto was wearing Ramen underpants!

"What?! They're special edition!" Naruto shouted angrily.

The crowd just stayed speechless. Their jaws scraped the ground. Most of them were brain dead. Their brains were trying to process the thought that Naruto had just won the bet, and the fact that he was standing in front of them, scratched and bruised, wearing nothing but his ramen boxers.

And with that, Naruto happily roof jumped away, yelling, "Just put the money in my bank account! I'm rich! I'm rich! Haha! Do you hear me?! I won the bet! RAMEN BUFFET EVERY MEAL! No more terrible cheap orange jumpsuits! I get to move out of my crappy apartment! Hehe. HAHA! WAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The civilians of Konoha simply saw Naruto running around the roofs naked, save his ramen boxers, covered with cuts, shouting and laughing madly, almost insanely. They thought that he must have gone mad.

Naruto roof jumped in no direction in particular, laughing maniacally and shouting to the world that he, Naruto Uzamki, was a rich man, and to believe it!

**xxXxx**

The next few days in Konoha were very strange for the citizens of Konoha, for the bet's losing conditions had stated that if you lost the bet, you had to *shudder* wear a Gai Sensei trademarked green spandex training suit, for _two whole weeks_.

So for the next two weeks, many of the female citizens and ninja hung their heads in shame as they wore the horrendous green training suits.

Ino felt terrible, having letting a bet escalate so far. She doubted Naruto would ever be able to look at her the same way ever again. And to wear this terrible suit for two weeks! She hated this suit! And then Lee kept saying her frown was "unyouthful!"

Sakura absolutely hated the green training suit. Inner Sakura was constantly screaming about the horror, and would not shut up! Inner Sakura was driving Sakura insane with her ranting! And for some reason, Sakura was almost positive that the terrible outfit made her forehead look bigger. The only nightmare worse than Naruto wearing the green spandex, was herself wearing the cursed green spandex!

Not to mention that she couldn't help but feel guilty. She couldn't even have a normal conversation with Naruto anymore without him either flinching away or freezing up and hyperventilating. It's not like they previously had normal conversations though. Sakura now realized how many times she had hit Naruto on the head simply because he had tried to talk with her.

TenTen, the female weapons master, hated the green suit. Every time she looked at it, images of Gai Sensei and Rock Lee screaming about youth popped into her head.

Not only that, but when Gai Sensei and Lee saw her wearing the monstrous training suit, this caused them to give an EXTRA long rant about the power of youth!

Gai then included TenTen in _"Gai's and Lee's crazy warm up training"_ (trademarked), which included 500 push-ups, running around the entire village ten times, and standing on their hands for a whole hour. Needless to say, TenTen had became a heap on the floor before it was even half over.

Speaking of Gai Sensei, he had suddenly gotten at least fifty orders for green spandex suits from the losers of the bet. He didn't know why they were buying the outfits, but he saw it as "MOST YOUTHFUL!" and this led him and Lee to rant about the power of youth EVEN MORE.

_YOSH!_

As for Taunade, she sat at her desk, clad in the horrifying, cursed, green spandex. How was a hokage supposed to get respect while she was wearing this monstrosity? Worse, she had lost yet another bet. She had a pink dusting on her cheeks as she drank her problems away, quickly draining her secret stash of sake, while her paper work from the event was piling up.

Hinata was glad that she hadn't entered the bet, and didn't have to wear the green spandex. If she did wear that, her father Hiashi Hyuga probably would have killed her. She was glad that her crush was now safe, even if he were terrified of those females now. But then again, if he were terrified of Sakura, Hinata's own chances of being a couple with Naruto skyrock-

"Eep! Bad Hinata! Don't think of Naruto like that!" she thought.

Meanwhile, Naruto could now afford a ninja outfit other than a fluorescent orange kill-me-now jumpsuit. Previously, the orange jumpsuit was the only ninja outfit he could afford, so it would only make sense that he jumped on the chance to take the green Ninja suit. But now Naruto was rich! He bought a new jumpsuit, which was black. Although, he couldn't help but get a tiny bit of dark orange on it as well. Orange just seemed like it was his color.

He had also upgraded to a permanent house instead of the crappy apartment he had.

Then he went ramen shopping and bought a huge amount of ramen cups for his ultimate ramen stash. (He bought out an entire store for his love of Ramen)

He had even used some of the money to get himself a therapy doctor to help him get over his fear of females. Turns out the therapy doctor was Ino's father, which made sense, as their clan's specialty were mind jutsu.

All in all, Naruto was just glad the incident was over. His wounds had healed, and he was RICH! He grinned, rolling around in his bank vault, throwing money into the air as he shouted, "Man, Ero-Sennin's gonna be so jealous! I'm richer than he is!"

He was able to buy a delicious all-you-can-eat ramen buffet for dinner at his favourite ramen stand, and he was full, satisfied and happy.

He even bought some more pairs of ramen boxers.

What can I say? They're special edition.

**xxXxx**

_And that was the ending of Naruto the Green Ninja! I hope you liked the ending. Did you think that the losing condition of the bet was justice enough? Yah Naruto's left kinda terrified of the female gender but they are mostly just mean to him anyways. Besides, he's rich! (All-you-can-eat Ramen buffet every meal, yah!)_

_Ramen boxers... Heh heh... I just had to put that in. _

_So far in the poll, __**Konoha's #1 Hyperactive Ninja**__ is winning! So it will most likely be the next story I write! (Unless people start voting otherwise) The one with second most votes will be the one I do after my next one. At the moment, __**Naruto: Banned from ramen**__ and __**Naruto: Surviving the fanGIRL apocalypse **__are tied for second! So be a tie breaker!_

_The poll will close either tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, so if you didn't already vote,__**VOTE NOW!**_

_(Man I sound like a tv announcer or something...)_

_Anyways, here are the current stats from the poll:_

_**- Konoha's #1 Hyperactive Ninja - **__What happens when the number one hyperactive ninja finds out about coffee? Will the desperate attempts of his friends and hokage to keep him away from coffee work, or will he reck havoc on Konoha?_

Votes: 4 (50%) + 1 review

_**- Naruto: Banned from Ramen - **__When the hokage bans Naruto from ramen due to an inaccurate health assessment, will he be able to handle the mental strain? Will he be able to get over his ramen addiction? The answer: No. No he can't. HE MUST HAVE RAMEN! And he'll go far to get it._

Votes: 2 (25%)

_**- Naruto: Surviving the FanGIRL apocalypse -**__ Sasuke's birthday is coming up, known to him as the fanGIRL apocalypse, so he convinces Naruto to henge as Sasuke for the day. Unwittingly, Naruto takes the deal, in exchange for a ramen buffet. What a terrible decision._

Votes: 2 (25%)

_**- Sakura Vs. Ramen - **__It takes multiple life or death situations, Sakura being denied repeatedly by Sasuke, and an entire WAR before Naruto and Sakura finally become a couple. But now, Sakura finds herself competing for Naruto's attention... With RAMEN! It's a full out war between Sakura and Ramen, and Naruto is just confused as he is caught in the crossfire._

Votes: 0 (0%)

_AND IF YOU WERE LAUGHING YOUR HEAD OFF, LET ME KNOW YOU WERE LAUGHING YOUR HEAD OFF IN A REVIEW! (YAH!)_

_Or... If it was boring.. Let me know in a REVIEW!_

^-^_ !_


End file.
